the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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