tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
