I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sext me about skeletons
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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