This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
