Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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