There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
