I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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