i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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