so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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