Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
