He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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