I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize