I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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