Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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