This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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