Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
