It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You ruined the universe
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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