I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
