If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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