Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I will be naked everywhere
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
