im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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