dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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