He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize