Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
