I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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