I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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