I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
