So drunk its hurt
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
