I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
