i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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