I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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