I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
