if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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