Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
