I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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