I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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