I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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