I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize