When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
