Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
