i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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