Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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