All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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