You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
