sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
