god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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