sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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