so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
