My nipple is on Facebook.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
