So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
