There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
