this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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