she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize