Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
