he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
