you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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