so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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