btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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