I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
