dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drake has all the answers
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
