do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
