I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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