john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
