dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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