You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
