I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
