Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
