i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
