She's JV to your varsity
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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