I hope mine doesn't look like that
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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