I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
