I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
