btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
