If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
