there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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